The title of this post sounds more self-centered than I wanted, but it gets the point across. I use this blog mostly as a way to share pictures of Tyson and update everyone on what is going on with us in general. As we have recently celebrated Tyson's first birthday, I have been reflecting on how I have changed over this past year as well, and today I wanted to share a little update on how I am doing.
Let's see...where to start? How about with facts. A year to the day of having my sweet son, I have officially lost all of my pregnancy weight, and then some. I weigh 5 pounds less than the day I found out I was pregnant, which I believe calls for a huge whooo Hooooo!!! Anyway, despite the weight being gone, I am still adjusting to having a post-pregnancy body. Things just aren't the same as before! I am slowly coming to accept that fact and have realized that is just part of the whole process. With that being said, I am definitely geared up to trying to commit to being more healthy overall, thus the new running plan. I am proud to announce that I have stuck with my running since I started a week or two ago and have been going 2 or 3 nights a week. I am feeling better already, and hate to admit that I somewhat enjoy myself and look forward to going. It helps that I have found a running buddy which makes the task more enjoyable for sure. Thanks Angie! I am also walking with Tyson about 45 minutes to an hour a day, but that is more to get out of the house than for exercise! Being pregnant and then nursing almost a year really takes a lot out of you, and I finally feel like I am getting back into my groove now.
I am sure the next thing everyone is wondering is when will we be wanting the next little Orbison cutie? The answer to that is whenever God blesses us with one:) I learned with Tyson that none of that is in my control, so I am not expecting the next one to be either. Do I have plans and ideas about when I want it to be? Of course. But I know that plans don't always go the way you want and things tend to work out better when you just go with the flow. I guess the best I can give you is that we definitely want more little ones at some point:)
I think it is pretty sad that it takes me so long to adjust to things, but being a mom is everything I wanted and nothing like I expected it to be. It is really hard for me to be at home some days, as I am very task oriented and a neat freak. If I try to measure my success as a mother by my usual standards, then I feel like a huge failure on a daily basis. I get almost nothing done during the day (Silas will tell you I get tons done, but I usually don't feel that way!) and the house is always a wreck (again, according to my perfectionist standards.) But I am blessed at the end of the day to have a wonderful husband who reminds me of all the ways I have been successful in caring for our son and nurturing his growth in every way. Though I may not see the tangible results of my efforts immediately, I am coming to see them in the little ways when I take the time to sit and really watch all the things my little boy can do. Though my home may not always be in tip top shape like I want, I am learning to enjoy, OK tolerate, some of the mess, do the things that are important, and let the ones that aren't go.
I absolutely adore being a mother, though have at times struggled with trying to balance my drive to be busy outside the home with work and being at home tending to managing our lives. I am happy to be working only one day a week, though it is hard to switch gears and go back and forth from mommy to professional at times. Again, I know this will get better with time as I learn how to prioritize better and settle in. I am just thankful for my job situation and my ability to do what I want when I want to for the most part!
Moving and searching for a new church home has really taken me out of my comfort zone and forced me to stretch and grow in so many ways. I feel like I have really had to examine my faith and bring to the front what I believe and why I believe it. Though not always a fun process, I feel like I have a better understanding of what I believe and the direction Silas and I are going, in regards to raising our son in a Christian family. I am excited for the opportunities at our new church to get involved and really be active.
Looking back over this last year, there have been so many changes, and major ones at that. I am proud to say that while I may not always be in the best shape, I have weathered whatever storms have come my way, thanks to the help and prayers of many!!! While I have not always been able to say this and truthfully mean it, I can say without a doubt that I am living the life I have always dreamed of. I have my struggles on a daily basis, but this life is more than I could have ever imagined. I am working on appreciating it on a daily basis, which is not always easy:) I am so thankful for my family, both immediate and extended. I am so grateful to have such a steady and gentle husband who is able to see the best in me and love me unconditionally through all of my faults. I am thankful for a healthy and happy little boy who makes my day better just because he is in it. I am thankful to serve a mighty God who is in control so I don't have to be.